Bringing Back an Old Tradition
Years ago when folks had a Sobriety Anniversary they would contribute that amount of money into the basket of their homegroup or they’d send it to another AA entity that needed support.
With our Northern Kentucky AA Central Office needing some extra help these days, please consider bringing back that old tradition.
Thanks Mark D. for reintroducing us to this tradition—another way to give back and say ‘Thank You AA!’
DISTURBED, WHO ME????
As I continue on this road of life and sobriety, more of me is uncovered and brought into the light. Having always thought that I was fairly levelheaded and balanced, it was alarming when I realized that I was very short tempered and disturbed by many things. Most of the things were sometimes trivial and unimportant but they would trigger an outburst of anger or frustration from me. Where was my serenity??
By taking the actions I’ve learned in Alcoholic Anonymous, I took a deeper look at myself. What I discovered was that when I am disturbed, there is always something going on with me, but I lash out at the event itself. Usually, it is something that I am avoiding, an action I need to take, or something I need to accept, but these are only a few of many!! For this alcoholic, Emotional Sobriety can be very hard to attain and even harder to hold on to.
The gifts and blessings of these situations are that I grow spiritually closer to God by righting the wrongs I have committed and amending the harms I have caused. For me, progress not perfection has ever been more needed than in dealing with myself. And I must remember:
IT’S NOT THEM!!!
-Mark D. Asbury Methodist
It’s An Inside Job
“It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.” (12 & 12, p.90).Whenever this passage gets read in a meeting, someone will lose their mind. “Do you mean I can never get upset about anything? Am I just supposed to be a doormat and let people walk all over me? What about the abuse I suffered as a kid? What the heck is ‘my part’ in that?”
It’s more gratifying for me to nurse a “justifiable resentment” than to look in the mirror and do the hard work of “pausing when agitated.” What happens to my sobriety when I let my emotions hijack my brain and react instead of respond?
Early in sobriety, I had a manager who would lash out and start blaming people without taking time to get the facts of why a problem happened. Later, in that same organization, there was a clique of coworkers who gossiped about everyone and regularly dumped their work on others. They were favorites of the boss, and this protected them.
I would get upset at being unfairly accused of a mistake and having to pick up others’ work. Wasn’t it all “their fault?” My sponsor and home group helped me to inventory how I was handling these “unfair” situations. I slowly learned that the Steps push me first to calm my emotional storm.
I really didn’t want to hear about “restraint of pen and tongue.” No, I just wanted to shoot off angry emails! AA challenges me to admit “my part” of the drama and to grow in willingness to forgive other human beings who are as imperfect and immature as I can be. I did not need to be a doormat, but with a Higher Power’s grace I could focus on the constructive actions within my power to do. I couldn’t change the manager I had or get the people in the clique fired. I wasn’t ready to go find another job. But I could stand up for myself in a professional way, refuse to be petty and resentful, and focus on my own work, my own emotional sobriety.
These stormy times gradually helped me learn to “look first at why I am so disturbed” and then decide what sane and sober actions to take.
-Kevin P
It’s not them.
When I become disturbed my first instinct is almost always to look outward and point the finger. If they would just change, if life would just go my way, then I’d be at peace. But the truth is, I’ve lived that way before, and it only left me restless, resentful, and craving something external to provide relief.
Today, AA teaches me that my serenity depends on my willingness to take responsibility for my reactions. When I’m upset, I can ask: What fear is being touched? What expectation is going unmet? Where is self-will running the show? That kind of honesty doesn’t always feel good in the moment, but it saves me from living in old patterns of blame and self-pity
This doesn’t mean I excuse bad behavior or let people walk all over me. I can choose peace even in the face of injustice or disappointment. My disturbance is mine to take to God, not something anyone else can fix for me. When I turn it over, I often find that my heart softens. I can forgive, let go, and respond with love instead of reacting out of fear.
Each time I practice this, I feel a little freer. Serenity comes not from controlling people, places, or things, but from aligning myself with God’s will and letting Him guide my thoughts and actions. The spiritual axiom reminds me that peace is always an inside job and it’s available to me anytime, if I'm willing.
-Andrew M.
Spiritual Growth
Why do we do the 12 Steps? What are we trying to learn and then practice in our daily lives? In the first 3 Steps, we learn to trust God (I can’t. He can. And I think I’ll let Him.), Then in Steps 4 and 5, we learn to see our part in all things that happen in our lives.
We are not allowed to totally blame anyone or anything for the issues that occur in our lives. If something goes (or is going) wrong in our world, we must stop, take a breath and see what we have done to help this happen or at minimum, try and understand both sides.
Before a got in this program, I avoided confrontation like the plague and still do, to some extent. Living the life of a chameleon, I automatically knew that “If something is wrong, I probably caused it.” So, If I dodged the issue then I could not look at it and therefore it wasn’t a problem. So, problem solved.
Today, I can look at a problem and ask “What did I do to cause this problem?” I can see my part in the process even if my part is not speaking up. Learning to speak about my feelings is something I’m never going to be good at, but I do try. Without that I’m always going to short change my relationship with others. I wouldn’t give us (whoever us is) a chance to clear the air and resolve the issue.
This only happens with God’s help. We always need to bring Him into the equation and let Him help. Thanks, God
-Mick S
Group History
Name of Group: Blue Skies Group
Date Founded: 1954
Founders: Brian Niergarth.
Place of First Meeting: St. Paul’s Church, Newport
The Newport Group itself first started back in 1954. I’ll pick up the story about 12 years ago, when I came in a handful of days sober. I walked in the door at St. Paul’s Church in Newport, confessed my ignorance and my hope at the podium, and was immediately showered with good advice, handshakes, and the love of a higher power. Back then the group numbered about 10–20 members.
One of the things that stood out right away was how active the group was in service — at the intergroup, district, and area levels. Our group consciences were always lively and sometimes lengthy.
At some point the meeting moved to the basement of Holy Trinity High School. It was there I was invited to join as a homegroup member, and I accepted. I was also invited to do service work, and again, I accepted and remain to this day.
In this group I learned how to stay sober — and plenty of other lessons too. I was taught to go to other meetings and to always announce my homegroup. Eventually I became a sponsor myself and because of that found myself chairing a meeting at the VA where I announced my home group and brought many veterans back with me to the Newport Group.
One night, someone introduced themselves as an addict. Because it was a closed AA meeting, they were asked to leave. That didn’t sit well with many of us, so a group conscience was held, and the meeting was changed to an open format to make space for the outed addict.
But that decision came with a cost. Five longtime members — together holding more than 100 years of sobriety — stopped attending the meeting. Most of the group eventually moved on to Movement Church, where the Blue Skies Group was born. Those five members returned to St. Paul’s and continued meeting there under the name of Newport Group until the passing of beloved homegroup member Gary F, shortly after, the group was disbanded.
Newport Group held its first meeting as Blue Skies Group on April 16, 2019. Since then the group has remained active in service and has maintained a strong relationship with the VA, chairing a meeting there whenever the opportunity has come up.
When COVID hit, the group quickly moved online to Zoom, making sure the meeting continued for anyone who needed it. Today, the group continues to thrive, carrying forward the tradition of service, fellowship, and making space for the next newcomer who walks through the door. The group still maintains several quirky traditions that started prior to my membership: black chips for resentments and popping the letter ‘p’ of chips. It’s also created a few new ones as well: the speaker always introduces themselves as ‘Kiki’ and several misspellings on the chair readings are pronounced as is.