February 2023

I spent 50 years of my life with the mantra “What’s in it for me.” By my father’s actions, I was taught to look at life through these glasses and yes, he was an alcohol- ic. This is a sad way to go through life.The secondary issue is, “If I’m living my life that way” then I believe everyone else is also looking at life that way. With that attitude, you are always looking for the real agenda knowing that there is always a catch. That there is something more going on that I have overlooked and because of that, trust in another human is non-existent. It is impossible to trust when you are looking at every situation with a “Me Attitude.” My wife is a trusting person and until I got in AA, I made fun of her trusting attitude knowing she was going to get burned.

This attitude (like many for me) did not change when I got sober. Along with AA, it took years of love and friendship from family and friends for me to slowly understand that trusting another person and maybe taking the chance of getting burned is not only okay, but truly the way to go through each day. If I get burned that’s on them, not me and my action should be to pray for them and not look for revenge. Remember, we are only responsible for keeping our side of the street clean.

I have to also thank the good folks at a Delhi meeting who each week showed me that I am lovable and they can be trusted. Because of them today I would trust at least a dozen people from that meeting (and others) with my life. That’s huge. They didn’t teach me Love and Tolerance, they showed me Love and Tolerance. Now I can not only trust others, I can put my trust in God on a daily basis and let Him help with my decisions. For me to have love in my heart and tolerance for others, I must first not judge them. See them as God’s children and believe that at this moment, they are doing the best they can.

Thanks everyone for your continued love and help – I need it!

Mick S.

“Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams.”

That doesn’t sound like something from a top 40 song or a Valentine’s card, does it? But isn’t it true?

As an active alcoholic, didn’t I get irritated with my loved ones and hold onto hurts? How often did I think of their needs or put myself out to do some little kindness? Love only meant making myself happy.

In sobriety, I’m asked to practice “love and tolerance.” Sticking with an AA group gives me plenty of practice. Do I lose patience with the guy who talks too long, the folks with emotional problems, the cliques and gossips, or the power-drivers who want to “run the show?”

“Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. This carries a top-priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot.” (12 & 12, p. 91)

Ego deflation requires me to suspend my harsh and often-wrong judgments of others. How many times have I learned something from a person in AA I had decided to dislike?

Even though these steps were tough, a bigger challenge for me was to practice love toward the people closest to me at home. I can always find another AA meeting in order to avoid members who get under my skin. When I was drinking, I could just as easily cut off relatives, divorce (or cheat on) a spouse, ignore my kids. Can I still act that way now and stay sober?

AA gives me “a way out” out of selfishness, childishness, grudges, and retaliation. It’s a steep climb for a basically unloving per- son like me. But worth it.

“Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong. When this happens, we approach true tolerance and we see what real love for our fellows actually means….’Let us always love the best in others — and never fear their worst.’”

(12& 12, p. 92; As Bill Sees It, 203)

Kevin P

When I came into the program tweets just came from birds and cell numbers were for people in jail. People are more inter- ested in game day, not God’s day. When I was young drinking one beer and trying to tell everyone I had twelve. Then drinking 12 trying to convince people I only had one

Asking for help which I believe is everyone’s bottom I began having a certain level of trust I began to understand that a per- son can recover in that he trust God and clean house
If I was willing and then believe, take action I got results and then faith. Men of faith have courage . Which is moving for- ward in the face of fear .

Holding on to old ideas, superstition tradition and fixed ideas kept me from growing . He dwells in me so I have my own personal God.

It’s an inside job. If I fill different colored balloons with helium and let them fly. It’s not what’s on the outside that makes them fly . It’s what’s on the inside .

Prayer is more than words; it’s seeing, feeling and listening.

Technology is changing but you can’t change love. You can’t outsmart the truth

Attitude of gratitude and humility . I had to understand where it came from . it’s not mine, it’s been given to me by the grace of god through the steps. To use what I have experience, strength and hope to help others . We have the ability to help others when no one else can.

Forgiveness when I learned that God loves us no matter what we can then learn to love ourselves and others we become channels . God wants to love the world through us . People don’t care how much we know they want to know how much we care. Be of maximum helpfulness to others.
If you bring up my past after my amends Ii tell people my higher power has dropped the charges

God puts us in circumstances to make us better. Are you kind, gracious and caring? Through the steps this happens.

They told me that at times it wouldn’t be easy but it would be worth it . Not the ease and comfort a few drinks would bring. (easier softer way).

My life is my actions but my actions are born in thought. It’s a de-learning and relearning process. Thus I undergo a change of heart

My will is my thinking. Need to improve my conscious contact with God to change my thinking. Remember cool hand Luke. We gotta get your mind right.

Practice restraining not complaining .Spend my life being a blessing instead of praying to be blessed The steps change us from the inside out by changing the way we think

They Are 7 days in the week and someday isn’t one of them . Imagine what your life could be. God made the tree it’s up to me to make a table or chair

-Mark L- the Florida Flounder

Sleep, beautiful sleep. In these winter months with the electric blanket on or in the summer nights with hardly anything. After a hard day at work or on vacation with nothing accomplished.

Being able to close my eyes and drift off to the incredible world of sleep can be so extremly satisfying to me. You see, it wasn’t always that way.

Drink, drink, drink pass out. Coming to, where am I and how in the hell did I get here? Where is my truck and my wife? Oh shit I’m late for work again. Maybe I’ll call off or is it Saturday? My head is about to explode and my stomach is sour and I’d rather be dead than feel like this but I get up and start the lies and get on the merry go round again. And God I’m so tired.

When the circus left town and the village idiot sobered up I started taking suggestions. I heard the promises and being a newly sober alcoholic I was still making deals with God. The last deal I made was that I’ll do these suggestions because I wanted these promises.

Get a sponsor, homegroup and work the twelve steps they told me and I listened. Those promises came true though I’m still a work in progress.

Soon I go to my wonderful warm bed. I’ll know how I got there and where my wife and truck are. But first I’ll say my prayers on my knees since that was suggested to me. I haven’t lied today and I’m unaware of hurting anyone so my brain shuts down to allow me this beautiful sleep. Thanking God for a fantastic sober day and falling asleep. Beautiful, wonderful sleep.

Tim L.