WILL NOT REGRET THE PAST, NOR WISH TO SHUT THE DOOR ON IT

The first time I read this statement I completely blocked it out. There were things in my past that I just could not or would not look at or even think about. If people knew what I had done or how I treated everyone I feared I would be alone again with me and my past.

The miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous is that the people in the rooms are doing God’s work. I heard people sharing out loud things that I couldn’t even think about saying. The gift of hearing the power of others sharing, gave me the belief that maybe I could also. I remember the first horrible thing I shared with my sponsor, and his reply was “Do you think you were the only one??” This eased my fears and helped me realize that everyone has a dark past that they must deal with.

Now with some sobriety I know that my past is one of my greatest tools in working with others and serving God. I still know regrets and shame about some of my past actions, some of them in sobriety. But when I get to hear and experience someone open up about their dark past, I am convinced that I must never shut the door on mine.

-Mark D., Asbury Big Book